In Praise of Stupidity

Is knowledge overrated?

I did what I thought I was supposed to.

When I got the idea to start this newsletter, I took a class. Got inspired. Raced to Substack and happily signed up for my new page. I added little ditties to my profile. Made a fun logo. Wrote my first post.

Things were going swimmingly. I had oodles of ideas for what to write next. Birds were singing. The sun was glittering off a raging river of possibilities inside my mind. All was right in the world.

And then I did what I thought I was supposed to do next: I educated myself even more. (Insert horror movie scream here.)

I subscribed to a bunch of writers and read post after post. Perused articles on increasing your followers and analyzing your dashboard data. Dove into the Notes section (think Twitter, but nicer) and lurked around admiring the witty banter back and forth.

Because that’s what you’re supposed to do when you start something new, right? You’re supposed to learn as much as possible about the discipline you want to master. Verse yourself in all the ins and outs. The dos and don’ts. The shoulds and shouldn’ts. The more you know, the better, right? Haven’t we always been taught that knowledge is power?

I’m starting to wonder if maybe that’s not entirely true.

Because with each clever turn of phrase I read, each time I stumbled on an article written on a topic I wanted to write about (but done better of course), each time I saw people reposting each other’s newsletters and chatting back and forth on Notes while I sat on the sideline feeling like the awkward nerd who just walked into an already raging party wearing the wrong outfit, the more my enthusiasm waned.

Suddenly, all my ideas seemed stupid and pointless. What did I have to offer? Weren’t other, much more qualified people, already saying exactly what I wanted to say? Surely if I put myself out there I’d only embarrass myself, expose myself as an imposter who doesn’t know her ass from her elbow, or worse yet, bore people with my meager point of view?

It had happened again. The demon of comparison and fear had crept in and quietly stolen all the joy out of what had previously felt like such a fun adventure to me.

It reminded me of when I was a little girl taking gymnastic lessons. When I used to throw my little body fearlessly through the air, attempting all kinds of death-defying tricks, completely unaware of my own mortality. Until I got older and learned how many ways I could die. That’s when I lost my nerve, my anxiety eventually growing so fierce I had to quit for my own safety.

Has that same demon ever visited when YOU wanted to try something new?

Yes, knowledge can be power. But only if you don’t use it as an excuse to fuel your fears.

Luckily I know my trickster thoughts well enough now that I no longer run screaming when they leap out from behind my walls of doubt and try to scare the shit out of me. Instead, I’ve learned sit down and have a chat with them eye to eye.

Contemplating what had caused my sudden drain of vim and vigor, I wrote in my notebook:

“I wonder if, when I’m starting something new, I should be careful about how much information I take in? I wonder if I shouldn’t overload myself with others’ work or learn too many details about the venture until I get my sea legs, so to speak.

Maybe I should just concentrate on what I want to say first and focus on output only. Write a piece…send it out into the Universe, then write another and send it off. Over and over again, without too much scrutiny, until I get my momentum flowing like water over the spillway of a pond. That’s it. I’ll get my creative stream flowing strong first, flush out the mud of doubt so it doesn’t seep in and clog up all my excitement before I even get started.”

There’s a reason they call it beginner’s luck. Because when you’re a beginner you’re too dumb to know all the things you’re supposed to be afraid of. Which means you’re naïve and innocent to what could go wrong and therefore not fraught with all kinds of resistance. I’d say that’s a blissful kind of ignorance we all should embrace.

I experienced the joy of being an oblivious novice when I wrote my first books. Yes, I took basic writing classes on plot structure and pacing and the dreaded “show, don’t tell.” But when I saturated myself beyond a certain point of education, I could feel myself sinking into a frantic seeking of how to do it “right.” That’s when my intuitive voice became muffled. My own voice drown out by all the garbled mixed signals I’d unwittingly invited into my head. It seemed like the more I knew, the more fearful and blocked I became.

So I wrote for pleasure, not publication. I stopped taking craft classes. I kept my work to myself until I felt sturdy about what I wanted to say. I focused on output only while keeping the input of others at bay. I wrote a scene the best I could, then moved on to the next. Wrote, then moved on. And in doing so, I was able to get my energy moving in one direction in what I call the Water Wheel Effect:

Get curious, create, release…Get curious, create, release. Over and over again.

Output, output, output. Energy flowing in only one direction.

This process can work in all kinds of creative endeavors. Why? Because keeping your eyes on your own paper, so to speak, cuts down on comparison. Keeps your confidence up. Doesn’t cloud your own unique perspective by worrying about how to follow some rigid set of rules or trying to replicate someone else’s formula.

Of course, you can eventually allow more data from the outside world in if you want. But only after the momentum has built enough that you have the strength to handle the criticism and self-doubt that will inevitably trickle in. Because we all want connection, that delicious co-creative back and forth with other like-minded souls. But I’d rather have a back and forth where I felt like a sturdy tree getting my roots tickled in the stream, not like a fragile leaf being buffeted by a raging storm.

I hope this helps when you find yourself timidly dipping your toe into some new creative body of water for the first time.

Be aware that with creativity, education is good, but only in moderation.

It’s okay to keep yourself insular, innocent, oblivious to the dangers that might be (but probably aren’t) lurking in the waters up ahead.

Who knows, you might find that staying stupid is the smartest decision you’ve ever made.

Love and other indoor sports,

Kiersten

P.S. Check out my recommendations for the week down below. And as always I’d love to hear from you! Respond to this email or comment below to let me know about a time when knowing too much backfired on you!

When Fear Falls Away:

In this book Jan Frazier recounts how, after facing repeated breast cancer scares, she went to bed one night asking for relief from her constant fear and woke up the next morning with a dramatic falling away of fear that has completely changed her life. As a result of her simple asking, her constant worrying was replaced by “ceaseless joy” that has never left. Crazy huh?! But true! I loved how poetically written this book was, and also how it opened me up to the idea that enlightenment can come in simple everyday moments. That awakening isn’t reserved only for lauded gurus but is available to common, “everyday” people like me.

Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones:

I blew through this 4 episode Netflix documentary in one sitting. Dan Buettner travels to five countries where people live long and happy lives in an attempt to reverse-engineer longevity. You can’t help but smile at these vibrant centenarians who will made you feel like an old fart sitting on the couch watching them. It includes great recommendations for diet and natural movement and mindfulness, but my biggest takeaway was this: WINE (in moderation) IS GOOD FOR YOU!

My Electric Milk Steamer:

If you take cream in your coffee you probably face the same dilemma I do: After 2 sips your coffee is already too cold. Fret no more! Enter the electric milk steamer! This baby will warm your cream, froth it to varying heights of frothiness, and give you a cold froth if you want to skip the Dunkin’ line and make your iced coffee at home. This little guy is easily the most beloved of all my small appliances. (but shhhh…don’t tell the air fryer I said that….)