Thought Bunny #2: A Ferry Ride in Ireland
All Aboard for Imposter Syndrome!
Several years ago, my husband and I visited the Aran Islands in Ireland. There we:
*Almost got blown off the top of a cliff while visiting a fort
* Ate the most delicious soup and bread at a tiny stone house at it’s based.
* Bought ourselves an authentic Irish sweater handmade on the island.
* And learned from our cab driver that some of the residents have lived their entire lives without ever leaving the island.
After a full day of sightseeing, we rested our weary bones in a pub by the docks as we waited for the ferry to take us back to the mainland.
The bar was just as you’d imagine an Irish pub to be: dark and crowded, full of rowdy men singing drinking songs, people laughing loudly, a bartender shouting loudly at a football match on TV.
I meekly ordered two beers, painfully aware I was a tourist interrupting these native islander’s daily routine.
“They must be so sick of outsiders barging in on their local pub,” I thought, keeping my head down as I returned to our table in the corner, trying my hardest not to bother anyone. “We must stand out like sore thumbs. It’s so obvious we don’t belong here.”
Then the ferry bell rang…
And every person in that pub stood up, paid their tabs, and walked to the ferry back to the mainland right alongside us.
I couldn’t believe it! None of the customers in that bar were native to the island like I’d assumed. They were all tourists just like me. And yet I’d been so quick to see myself as the only one who didn’t fit in.
So quick to think everyone belonged there except for me.
The lesson of that day comes back to me often. I think of it whenever I feel like an imposter. When I find myself thinking “Who do you think you are? You don’t belong here.”
I thought of it when I joined a local author’s association and was sure everyone would know what I novice I was just by looking at me.
And when I clicked Publish on Amazon for my first book and thought, “okay now what do I do?”
Even when I accepted an award alongside twenty other authors for that book. I still wondered if the organizers had made some kind of mistake.
But each time I reminded myself that feeling of was only a story I’d made up in my head. And the only one who could make me an outsider was me.
I finally said “Screw it!” and stopped waiting for someone to give me permission… for some Angel of Worthiness to descend from the heavens and deem me as finally ready.
Instead, I dove in and started going for it. And yeah, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing (and most of the days I still don’t!) but I was determined to try all the same.
I wrote an Author Bio on Amazon. Created an Author page on Goodreads. Googled how to write a press release and sent it to my local paper to announce my book. I set a date for an Author Q & A on Zoom with my sister as the interviewer and expected no one to show up. (Imagine my delight when fourteen people did!)
I stopped waiting for someone to tell me I was an author and instead just started acting like one. After all, isn’t that what everyone other author had to do when they first started too?
And although I’m no great commercial success I feel damn proud of myself for all the things I’ve learned along the way. I found a sweetness in my own innocence as a beginner, which helped me show compassion to myself when I floundered and felt like a fool.
I was no longer cowering in the corner, trying to keep my voice low so as not to disrupt the revelry. No, I was right in the middle of the sweaty crowd rubbing elbows with like-minded folks. And having a helluva good time in the fray.
All because I realized there was no bouncer standing outside the door to my dreams of writing a book.
So, maybe you too can learn what I did that day in Ireland. That you’re allowed to belly up to the bar, grab a seat at the table, and sing your song out loud. Because even though it may not always feel like it, everyone is in the same boat as YOU!
Love Bunnies:
Enjoying: My favorite Christmas gift and the product that has changed my life for the better in so many ways is this temperature controlled coffee mug. Yes, it’s pricey but it has saved me so many trips to the microwave it’s worth it!
Reading: I just finished the second book in Cassandra Clare’s The Chronicles of Castellane Series, The Ragpicker King, and it totally took over my life in the best way possible! Kel, Kel, Kel! I’ll never stop extolling this fictional man’s virtues!
Listening: I’ve been drawn to the dark side by my husband and yes…I now like country music. Especially the heartfelt music of the ultra talented singer/songwriter Tyler Childers who brings me back to my days in the midwest with the regional language he uses in his songs. (He actually incorporated morel mushrooms into his lyrics!) Check out his essential playlist here. My favorites are Lady May…In Your Love…and All Your’n.